Double Negative

Your face I can’t not see
and your voice I can’t not hear.
Your no hugs will leave my body bare
and the no kisses will benumb my lips.

Nothing will keep us apart
but I find the no-things under my bed waiting
to creep into my sleep and make up stories
where you and I live in a no world.

I find the no-things walking past me every day
wearing their “No Way” smiles
and from their stretched out skinny hands
I buy tickets that take me to Nowhere.

Now, when the silence
echoes with your no-call
and no words can fill
the no-time that is left

I can only hope that while
the double negative does not exist
two minuses still will make a plus
and a no will turn to yes.

I wrote you a poem once...

I wrote you a poem once
Telling you to never love me,
But you weren’t a big poetry fan
So you did anyways.

And off you went parading this ‘unconditional love’ in my face
Convincing me it is a safe trip
Like a dealer would say to the new kid
As if heroin and needle blue don’t go together.

So, with childlike curiosity, invincible and unstoppable,
Way too experienced in this drug business to be afraid,
I took a closer look
With a magnifying glass made of liquor bottles.

Now,
when you finally read poetry,
I find myself shivering and wet
In the gutter of my own sheet
Hurting for another dose.

Currently Listening Portishead By Portishead see related

Self-Pity

Currently Listening Alright, Still By Lily Allen see related

Yesterday

He called me crying

because She cheated on Him.

I went there crying

because He hadn’t called me in a week.

He paced around and chain-smoked.

I just listened quietly while he talked.

She wanted to marry him She said, and they made plans...

He touched me so; I wanted to give Him a second chance.

“I feel like I want to die, yet I have never felt so inspired”, He said

“I feel like I want to write, yet I have never felt such desire...” I said,

“..to just be with Him and cuddle,

Not write poetry in a fashionable struggle.”

So, He hugged me long, and drove me home,

He had to think and be alone.

I looked at Him, and thought about my man,

Took out my phone and texted Him, “I love you. Call me in ten.”

(He and She are interchangeable, irreversible, undeniable and irresistible.

But what’s the moral of this little fable?

“The biggest truths come in a very simple shape,

So read my silly verse, and call your mate.”)

Currently Listening So Jealous By Tegan and Sara, Tegan & Sara see related

I fear seeing you today,

and I fear showing my affection like I never have before.

The possibility of hurting you makes me curse my life again,

the one that I’ve abused too many times with wrongful thoughts…

See, I am tired of hurting and bleeding, myself.

Now

I breathe simplicity. I think flavored emptiness. I feel the ethereal only.

I don’t want to be your unshared love like all the ones I’ve had.

Please don’t put this burden on my shoulders,

Friend

Spare me, before I am incapable of sparing you.

Understand that I have put my heart at peace at last.

And I will not do this. As much as I love you. I will not.

So turn your head away,

your eyes shouldn’t rest on me.

And all I can hope for is that while you are not looking you are not forgetting.

And when you decide it is safe to turn around

You’ll still be wearing the smile I know,

unchanged.

(I wonder if it is cruelty I write, or honesty,

and if it makes a difference at all…)